What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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