it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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