i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
