Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
