my soul wont recognize me after tonight
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dick very happy bro
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
