Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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