They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
