Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
