you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
