Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
