if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
