youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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