So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
