It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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