She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
