I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
