I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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