so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
