i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
