soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
