He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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