how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
