if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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