3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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