Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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