The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
