sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
