So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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