loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
