I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
