the condom got lost in my hair
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
