Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
