You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
