when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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