You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Did I show you my penis last night?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Randomize
