Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
