Sry I called you an 8
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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