Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
