Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
