she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
