it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
