Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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