do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
