I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
