He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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