well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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