the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
