all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
