D3 body, D1 cock
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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