whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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