the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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