Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
